January 16, 2008
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Present Presence, Absent Presence, and Philistine Behavior
Once when I was “powdering my nose” in a public ladies’ room, the woman in the next stall said “Hi there!” very enthusisatically.
Uh. When I didn’t answer (my training in the hood, I guess), she persisted, “Hey, you there?”
“Yes,” I offer relunctantly (my Pittsburgh politeness kicking in….). Man, what did she want: tissue? directions? small talk? Oh please.
“Yeah, I’m good! I was thinking of dropping by sooner than later,” she says.
Oh my wacko wireless! She was on the insidious cell phone!
For a nano, I considered saying, “Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.” But no, that would just interrupt her private conversation. Aack!
I rushed through washing my hands, and flew out of the restroom. The thought of being pointed out later as the “idiot woman that thought I was talking to her in the bathroom” made my skin crawl.
Now the whole thing is much funnier. Why would that woman even feel comfortable doing that? Has our society changed that much, that we can’t take a private moment without yacking on the phone?
This week my friend Barry has some wise thoughts on guidelines for cell phone use:
http://sycamorerpc.blogspot.comHe recommends a column on the ethical and cultural ramifications of cell phone use in The Atlantis by Christine Rosen:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/archive/6/rosen.htm
She talks about the phenomenon of “absent presence” that is common with cell phone usage in public: the person is there, but they are not aware of you or their surroundings. Examples are chatting mothers at the park pushing their babies absentmindedly, chatting drivers swerving in to your lane without turn signals, and chatting loudmouths in public restrooms.Both articles gave me pause. I love my cell phone, but I am more determined than ever to mark and dig out my boundaries. One that is a no-brainer for me is: “NO chatting in the restroom!”
|||||| lynard
19 Jan 08 edit: Another post on the subject~~very funny~~ http://www.mannersthatsell.com/articles/cellphone.html
Comments (3)
I just love this story — and I’ve had it happen to me too! Why is it that suddenly NO ONE remembers how to live without their cell phone on, even for five minutes? In our semi-short lifetimes, we had no cell phones (I had none till I married Wayne and even then, we were the rarities, in 1999!) for most of our adult life. And now we can’t be caught dead without them? Please.
Whenever I see a driver do something bone-headed on the road (swerve into the oncoming lane, etc.), nine times out of ten the person’s on a cell phone! HANDS-FREE, PEOPLE!
[/rant]
P.S. I answered your “Menopause: The Musical” question on my own site where it belongs.
Use the cell phone in the checkout line and you may just get clobbered by a large man in a clerical collar waiting behine you. =)