February 3, 2006
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Grammar and Steelers Rock!
Here are some sentences that I found in my student papers this week:
I am going to try and get flowers on my swim suet.
Hey, I avoid swimming because I’m packing a lot of suet, too.
Should I try the floral cover-up trick? Seriously, about this lazy spelling epidemic: If one doesn’t learn how to spell, one’s spell checker will make one look “stooped.” Two sentences before, the same author wrote, “I had a stake and shrimp….”If there has been a chemical leak that would explain why the hamster got so huge in such a short time.
Not using commas can be insensitive and plain rude. For instance, a comma after a phrase or clause that begins a sentence is like opening the door for a newcomer. It helps the reader find the subject of the sentence, which helps him navigate his new surroundings. Otherwise, the reader can end up bumping around the verbal furniture or even slamming into giant hamsters. Why alienate the person you are trying to reach?
Also when you suddenly discover you are missing a limb.
Perhaps he was trying to dramatize corporal inadequacy by writing an incomplete sentence.
No one will believe a Psycho person was in a space ship, aliens take advantage of that, and abduct people from mental intuitions.
There is nothing inadequate about this sentence. (Buy one, get one free…)
Yes, that is mental “intuitions.” I guess Psychos get those kind more than physical ones.
These are my grammatical insights for the week. I have more papers to read, because some students hand things in late.
Lateness is so shocking to me. 
The city is ablaze in gold and black. Going from school to work this morning, we saw students in Steeler outfits, a fork lift driver in a Casey Hampton jersey, school bus windows plastered with crayon Steelers and yellow finger paint, Terrible Towels hanging out of car windows, and an old, dapper black man with a yellow knit tam with “Steelers” embroidered on the top, a black and gold scarf, an NFL Steeler jacket, and black sweat pants with gold and white stripes down the side.
The traffic was a breeze this morning. Pretty much all able-bodied Pittsburghers have gone to Detroit whether they have a Super Bowl ticket or not. Those who have stayed in town are taking the day off to decorate themselves and stock their refrigerators with black bean and corn salad, Iron City, and pierogies with cheddar and black olives.
Super Bowl coverage is almost 24/7 on the local stations—from the sublime to the ridiculous. There are updates on Polamalu’s ankle, unending press conferences, and special reports on what Gladys Bettis fed the 40 players that came to her house and who won a Madden video game between Randle El and Hines Ward.
Tonight, Kate and Tay have basketball games. Tomorrow night, we shimmy, shimmy low at the Clarks concert. On Sabbath, we worship, enjoy a Fellowship lunch after church, and pray for Polamalu’s ankle.
|||||| lynard
Comments (9)
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Ahhhh… wish I was there to enjoy the Steeler craze with you all. I wore my jersey to work today and have gotten nothing but razzed
At least it’s easier to take when we’re in the Super Bowl!
And if you think spell checker makes people lazy spellers you should see some attorneys I know… the problem only get worse with a secretary… I call it the “she read it” syndrome
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LOL!
Go steelers!
Love the examples. (And that’s an incomplete sentence. And sentences shouldn’t start with “and.” And I’m going to quit while I’m behind.)
Reminds me of when Bill was teaching research and writing in a small group in law school. Remember this was LAW SCHOOL. My children in 1st and 3rd grades at the time could literally write a better essay/story! I am not exaggerating! And these people got in law school!!!!!!!!!!
Your children are brilliant,bnowak!!!
Aren’t you going to write a book about the spell checker thing??
You nailed it right on the head, Lynn. Now I want coffee! Let’s go into business together. It will be the Pennsylvania/Kansas- eclectic- xanga loving – chinese cookin’-coffee shop chain!
YIPPIE GO STEELERS!!
When I was in college (Carnegie-Mellon, mind you), I typed papers for the science and engineering majors. They started asking me to proof them as I typed. I can’t remember how many times I had to tell them, “Umm, you need a verb in this sentence?”
“A verb? What do you mean?”
(sigh)
An I wanna respon bit ascard ya might criteeec dis.
As to you response on the blue shirt I wore to the Super bowl. Felt the power of the yellow and black when I was at the Big game, but when in Detroit you have to wear silver and blue. I wore all my Pittsburgh jerseys the previous days so all I had left was the blue shirt.